I would like to elaborate on a few of mum's fine attributes expressed through my personal experiences. I think this would be good to share here, because we are not able to get together at a celebration of Enid’s life to tell our stories.
Let’s start with her name, Ruth Enid Bailey. Why is she known by her second name and not by Ruth? I actually do not know and didn’t get around to asking her, but it is quite uncommon not to adopt your first name. I would find it quite believable if mum herself determined to be known as Enid. I can believe this because it would be in line with mum’s independent trait. This has had its problems though. In her nursing home it took 2 weeks for them to switch from calling her Ruth which was the name on her medical file. Mum was not impressed.
 
With regard to my own name, I wondered why both my brothers were given 2 first names, but my parents gave me only a solitary one. This I did ask mum. She looked at me and went quiet, then said ‘Well isn’t Kelvyn enough?’. I didn’t know how to respond to that.
 
Her very good neighbour Daphne would call on mum daily when she was living independently at a retirement apartment in Tutbury. They would have long chats over tea and cake. Daphne said mum had a wicked sense of humour. This was not something I had noted of her until an event recently. Mum was being assessed of her needs when moved into the nursing home. Mum’s dementia was quite advanced by then, and she really couldn’t communicate coherently, comprehend much, or focus. The nurse told me toward the end of her short interview with mum which coincided with lunch, mum dropped a sausage into the nurses handbag! She still had her wicked sense of humour then. I wish I had been present to witness the expression on mum’s face, and the reaction of the nurse. I would have burst out laughing.
 
Mum had a love of dancing. While living in the care home, at any event with music she would be the first out of her chair to grab the nearest young man and insist they danced with her. It didn’t matter if they were good at dancing or not because she would just get them to sway. She wore them all out and was usually the last to sit down again.
 
When I was a young boy she would get me and my brothers to socialise also. She would take us on visits to friends and families, or neighbours. I was not always appreciative of her efforts, and often would not be in a good mood on our return. It was only when I was a parent myself that I became aware of the term ‘herd immunity’ and realised what she had been up to.
 
Mum insisted on cleanliness and tidiness. She always kept a clinically clean home which covid19 would have feared to enter. This also applied to personal presentation. When I was at uni in the early’70s, I got in to the heavy metal culture – King Crimson, Deep Purple, and the like. Mum ticked me off because of my long hair, which she associated with scruffiness. When I stressed I hadn’t changed and it was still me under that hair she relented and accepted it.
 
The passion I shared with mum was for gardening. When I visited her we would frequently go off to a garden centre. She would be attracted by plants on offer without much consideration of what they were. Having got them home they would be plonked into any free spaces in her borders. Her gardening style was informal; stick them in anywhere and see what happens. I was astounded by how many survived. She had natural ‘green fingers’. In contrast to my own style which involves lots of research and design considerations and no guarantee of success. In my own garden I have flag irises, shrubs and fig trees originally raised by mum, still doing well.
 
 
Mum always wanted to be of help.  When visiting us she wasn’t content to be waited on. She would be involved in preparing the meal, or clearing up. She couldn’t rest in the shade of the patio sun umbrella for long without wanting to help me in the garden by weeding or deadheading the flowers. Often she wouldn’t wait to be asked, and would determine  how she could help and just did it. It’s ironic that in her last days she had carers doing the same for her.
 
These are just a few things of many memories that will stick with me. You will have your own. I hope it gives you pleasure to recall them now and again.